Of Wars, Army, Rural Internship and Or*y

Just putting down some stories- the kind of stuff people send to Reader's Digest. I am not translating the parts in hindi. They lose their flavor.

1. This was in the year '99. The watchman at the school was a relieved (of his service, that is) 50 year-old jawan(?) who looked 70, and man, he was a chimney. Used to smoke 10 packs of cigarettes flat. The only work he was supposed to do was to say, 'chaliye chaliye' to us at the gate when the school got over.
   I stayed back after school one day, had some work. While leaving, I struck a conversation with the old man. As he put out the umpteenth cig that day, I told him, "itna cigarette mat piya kar baba, mar jaayega." The old man quips, " Arey jung mein dushman ki goli mera kuch nahin bigaad paayi, yeh cigarette kya balaa hai." Kargil had just happened. I was this 13 year old kid and got excited at the prospect of hearing a war story.
   Prodding him, I asked, "kaunsi ladaai mein gaye the?"
   "Sab mein, '65 mein, '71 mein". It was building up nicely. The old man was happy that there was someone to ask him about his life. Few details here and there, and then I ask, "yeh to bataao, aapne kitne dushman maare?"
   He thought for a moment and then answered, "arey maarne walon ne maare honge, main to truck chalata tha"
   
2. Had this famous slogan in school. "jiska koi nahin hota, uski fauj hoti hai". Coined by a friend who knew that he was going to flunk the maths exam, managed to steal the answer books from the teacher's. His conscience weighed him down, and when he went to put the answer books back-I know this is filmy, but true- was caught by the peon. Thrashed and humiliated everywhere, he said the immortal words. Right now, he's the sergeant at NDA-fifth term.
3. We have our Rural Internship at the end of first year of engineering. We are supposed to gain first hand experience of the problems faced by the people living in the villages. Went to this remote village in Gujarat. First day, went around the village-talking to people and conducting general surveys.
   So, there's an old woman sitting at the well. We go to her and ask her if she knows hindi.
   Get No reply. One of my friends tries his hand at Gujarati,"tamaro naam su che?" No reply. The friend again, "Aapka naam kya hai?,err.. I mean what's your name". Till date he defends himself having said that.
4. This one takes the cake. Tony at his best, giving us gyaan.
   Orgy
   Ever wondered why is it called so even though its all about love making in a different way but dosent have 's' or 'e' or 'x'in its name nor 'l' or 'v' or 'e'? Well my life time research brings some fruit-ful results. It derives it name from two ancient Hindi words, namely 'aur' and 'ji'. At this point you might ask why only Hindi? Well the very notion of sex as a pleasurable act was first established in India and Kamasutra is the worlds most ancient adult magazine. Lets not divert from our main topic of discussion. 'Aur' means more and 'ji' is added as a mark of friendliness or to show respect or show modesty like its used in 'masterji'. So an English translation of 'Aur-ji' would be 'more please'. So now you see 'orgy' is just the appropriate name for love making where instead of just 2 partners, we have more.
   For more of these, if you are on orkut, join this community. Here's a caveat. Joining the community may not be a pleasant experience for everyone.